Wednesday, August 09, 2006

"Let not talk of chains or things we cannot untie..."*

"...your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but now it's come to distances and both of us must try,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye..."

* Leonard Cohen

The wind, the wind again. I walk by the river and look at the sailing boats, lingering seductively in the hands of the wind. I envy their light-headedness. Cambridge is awaiting another season pretty soon. I should get prepared for the falling leaves. Sooner than you know, will come the indian summer. Though I am still stuck in these sticky nights of my first summer in Cambridge. I am stuck in a sticky dream, a vast moment, a vivid Déjà vu. The more I want to slip away, the more I get stuck. Too good a moment to let go, I said to the wind. Little did the wind care. I wish summer would never end. I should have known, should have known moments could become larger than life.
I shall write one day, stories of a life that I never lived. I shall look one day, at this river thinking to myself how many moments I let go by. I will listen one day, to all the songs that are playing in my head these days, and nostalgia will seep into my heart. I will think one day, of all the thoughts I ever fought, and will smile perhaps, thinking how young I have once been. I will try one day, to remember how exactly I felt once I knew I was living unlived moments that were not supposed to be the way they were. I will go one day, to every place I once loved, and will try to make sense of who I have been in those very moments of mingling with life, as if tomorrow would never arrive. I will smile one day, when I think of how broad a moment could be, when you lived it fully to the end. I will cry one day, when I think of how brief a moment could be, when it was too good to be true. I will come back one day, for sure, for "I will always have cambridge"...