Monday, January 23, 2006

Exile from Exile

Looking at the city -shining like a diamond- from the top of Prudential tower, I am thinking to myself how small we are in the big picture. It is good to go up there once in a while, to be reminded of this small-ness. And yet, each of us is a world of dilemmas and questions, sharing our uniqueness -as my intellectual friend, Umar puts it brilliantly- and there is nothing small to it. But now, sitting here at my desk - looking at this big photo of an annual ball in Oxford on the wall, and thinking about the concept of nostalgia- I cannot help but wonder where it all started, this concept of being exiled from exile. Is that so really, that the line of this flight -this kooch- is a never ending one? That is will keep going until the bird is worn out, or else, until she "becomes"? And yet, becoming is a never-ending process itself. I wonder, although something is telling me there must be a way to finally become out of all this, something unique, something worth waiting, something universal. There is a lot to struggle for, and there is a lot to challenge. But isn't it the whole point of living, to have something to keep looking for? I keep recalling Rumi's famous verse "Any failed effort is much better than doing nothing.. For my beloved likes my restlessness, and that is all that matters..."

Tonight, it just hit me that not only am I exiled from exile, but that I will keep being exiled from exile, being displaced over and over, and there will be nothing physical to this. It will keep happening in my mind, even if I never fly again.


At 5:26 AM, Blogger Khash said...

Found you!

At 7:51 PM, Anonymous Irving Karchmar said...

Salaam Alaikum:
As a writer, may I commend to you my book, Master of the Jinn: A Sufi Novel. I think you will like it. It has been translated and published in Russia, and will soon be translated and published in Indonesia, inshallah, into Bahasa, the national language.
You can view the book and read an excerpt at
Please share the link with any brothers or sisters you think may be interested.

Ya Haqq,



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